Dear younger me,
I wanted to let you know as I have entered the second half of life, I was thinking of you earlier today. What would expect me to say if it was half-time and I could speak to you? I remembered the locker room at half-time – adrenalin, excitement, anxiety, expectation… anticipation as our coach spoke giving us points which sharpened us, attuned us to be more, to try harder, to dig deeper, to break boundaries and of course beat the other team…
Now that I have your attention, I hope with the same wonder and fear the coaches of old awakened within us… I will begin.
Look at me… Recognize me…
I know you… I know you.
I know your hopes and dreams, who, what and where you wanted to be.
I know your fears, the deepest, those from your innermost.
I know your hurt… our hurt.
I know your shame… our shame.
I am not who you thought I would be, I am more…
I know freedom.
I know salvation.
I know mercy and grace.
I know acceptance and adoption.
I know love without boundaries or conditions…
I know where we went to be alone…
I felt our loneliness…
I saw you making deals…
I saw you making empty promises…
I saw how you plead with God: Alone, over and over.
I also heard His answer to you, again and again.
…You are not forgotten, not forsaken; you are forgiven.
Now that I am where I am, in the second half of our life I can see now His faithfulness… His unwillingness to give up on us… His relentless love… His wellspring of eternal hope… in everything.
– in reflection I wrote this summation of our life, to date –
Born to a babysitter,
given up for adoption.
Molested as a child,
broken as an adult.
Married to my “First Real” girlfriend,
bonded for life, she became my wife.
Two wonderful kids, one is at home,
one walks the path alone.
Unwanted, undeserved post,
serving all, for always.
I hope, I pray you do not discard this letter or dismiss it – Because I know.
“You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13-14
My prayer for you and I – “Father, Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness, My Lord, My God, My Friend, You are the God who sees me – You know me… Yet, You alone chased after me, pursued me… kept me… held me… loved me… Let me be as faithful to you as you have to me.
…Until we meet again.